If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
