Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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