my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm always down for nudity.
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