I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
