I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize