I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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