I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
