we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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