I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
