this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
