brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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