he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
