the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
