I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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