4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
