i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just forgot I was standing up.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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