He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
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Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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