Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
