I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
