your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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