I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
soo... how was my night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
