the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
