What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
