so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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This is the prime rib incident all over again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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