first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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