i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
