Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
