Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My liver just broke up with me...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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