Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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