I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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