what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
