This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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