Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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