Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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