i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
