Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
