Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Someone signed my nipple.
Pooping to opera.
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