I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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