I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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