I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have already put on my inside pants.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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