After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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