i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
