just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
