she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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