they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We have started to decorate penises.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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