She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
