I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
