You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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