i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
