just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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