I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just puked most of my soul out..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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