That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Let's get the cat blown out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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