I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
