all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
whose parrot is this?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
