someone threw a dead crab at me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
