I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
