Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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