i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
