if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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