Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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