dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
