i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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