He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
