So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
