this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
